Harrison Ford in Six Days and Seven Nights

 

Yes, men are easy. When it comes to sex, the male of the human species likes it simple. The simpler the better: lights off or lights on. That’s about it. Women on the other hand….

Think about it. You’re together. There’s an attraction. You start kissing. Things begin to heat up.

The guy thinks: hot damn, how soon can I get her clothes off and I wonder if this couch is sturdy enough.

The woman thinks: omg, did I remember to shave this morning? Did I wear my sexy Victoria Secret Angels panties or did I put on the white cotton ones? Will he notice the scar from my appendectomy (Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.)? Is dinner pooching out my belly (Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.)? Does my ass have cellulite (Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.)? Should I light some candles (candlelight makes me look better)? Did I change the sheets recently? Is he going to… Maybe I should….

You get the idea. It’s not that we women LIKE to be so complicated. It’s just in our genes. I mean look at…

RESTROOMS:

Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons.
Women use restrooms as social lounges.
Men in a restroom will never speak a word to each other.
Women who've never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends.
And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, "Hey, Bob, I was just about to take a leak. Do you want to join me?"

LOW BLOWS:

Let's say a man and a woman are watching a boxing match on TV. One of the boxers is felled by a low blow.
The woman says, "Oh, gee. That must have hurt."
The man groans and doubles over, and actually FEELS the pain.

DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail...
A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

OFFSPRING:

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

BATHROOMS:

A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

See, we can’t help it!

The next time though, you guys want to complain about us women, remember one very important thing…

Would you really want to live without us?

Yep, we’re addicted to Xanga. We can’t stay off. Every day we sign in wondering what’s going on and who is saying what. Like slowing down to watch an accident at the side of the road, we need to see what’s happening. Work is an annoyance because it interrupts our “Xanga time”, family is now used to us being hunched over a computer screen and our respected butts are now beginning to spread because we sit so much.

Why do we do this?!?

We’re all a bunch of hypocrites. We have a hate/love relationship with others and their opinions. We’ve turned this world into Politcally Correct land and now when we read or hear about something that offends our senses, we whine and carry on. The cheese makers in this country could make a killing if they’d advertise their product would make a good accompaniment.

Instead of posting something sweet and happy, we decided instead to take a look at the things that have been having us shake our head lately.

So here it is people, our top five cheesy award winners:

#5 Sex

Oooo that dirty word. If you don’t like to talk about it, you’re a prude. If you do like to talk about it, you’re a whore. Yikes! It is possible that you can just not want to discuss it you know. Some people think it’s a private matter. Any way you look at it, it’s natural. Don’t get your knickers in a twist about it.

#4 Religion

Whether you are Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Scientologist, Atheist, Agnostic or believe in the Vorlon god Boojie, if others don’t follow your mindset, they are WRONG! Uh huh. Here’s an idea that might be an option: if you want others to listen to what you have to say, try NOT to cram it down their throats. Honey attracts more flies than vinegar.

#3 Politics

Yes, I said the “P” word. For some reason if you are right you hate the left, and if you are left you hate the right. If you are stuck in the middle you get attacked from both sides. And heaven forbid you don’t give an opinion. Then you are attacked for not standing for anything! Really people get a grip. It’s okay to disagree. Don’t go off the deep end and start a war. It’s bad for your blood pressure.

#2 Abortion

Do you actually know anyone who truly DOESN’T have an opinion on this subject? Do you base who your friends are by where they stand on this? Is the world going to split apart and explode if the other side doesn’t think the way you do? Does foaming at the mouth instead of honest debate solve anything?

#1 Drama

Yep, the number one cheese winner is drama. Because you have to know that there will be a plethora of people who will attack you, just because you were bold enough to state your ideas. How dare you! Just because you chose a subject you KNOW will have people grabbing the nearest stick to beat you with doesn’t mean you don’t have right to talk about. And we have the right not to read about it, talk about it or write an op-ed of our own about it.

Do you all notice a theme with the above? It seems to come down to right and wrong; who is who isn’t? Your particular beliefs are wrong, and mine are right. Who are we to judge another? It’s funny how so many are quick to take on the title of judge, jury, and executioner.

Like bees to honey, so many of us are drawn to these subjects. Rarely are the discussions civil, which is something we’re gobsmacked by. Are others so afraid the principles they grew up with might be wrong, or they may actually learn something new that they quickly attack others for their particular beliefs in order to “save face?” Belief, while a wonderful thing, is also very dangerous. Wars have been waged over them. And who ends up winning? No one.

It’s becoming rare in this community when something written to be positive and uplifting is lauded. Instead we’d rather demean and debase. It’s sexier somehow. More thrilling.

*sigh*

How sad.

We’ve heard for a long time now how disappointed some are by what is being shown on the front page. So let’s change it! Let’s let Xanga know what that is. Start nominating those posts you like and get the word out. Echois23 has a post up today that can show you how if you didn’t already know.

Maybe it’s time we become proactive here instead of being cheeseheads. Pretty soon the whambulance will be called trying to resuscitate what is left of Xanga.

Personally, we’d like it to be around for a while longer. 

A man walked along the busy downtown street in a hurry, trying to make his delivery before the office closed for the day. The package was important and time was of the essence. Ahead of him was a woman shuffling along with a little girl by her side. The little girl sees a bird sitting on a metal trash can and runs over to watch it. As the bird flies off, the girl reaches for it and gets her coat buttons caught in the mesh wire. As the woman yells, you can hear the cloth of the coat rip, leaving a gaping hole. The woman comes undone and bleats: “Why don’t you watch where you’re going! Now look what you have done. How am I supposed to afford a new one?”

The girl begins to cry as the mother stands there in tears herself. The man stops. He’s not sure what he can do to help but realizes that these are people in pain from more than a torn piece of clothing. He apologizes for interrupting, but did the woman know where a particular building was located?

Stunned the woman pulls the girl close and offers her services indicating where the man needs to go. He thanks her for her time and starts a bit of small talk: isn’t it a beautiful day, your daughter has a lovely smile, etc. After a few moments the child stops crying and the woman’s face relaxes. The situation has calmed and he heads back on his way. Unfortunately he has missed his deadline and the office is now closed. With the package in his hand, he heads home.

The next day he delivers the package. Walking down the street he sees the mother and child once again. The little girl jumps up and down and waves her hello. He stops and again mentions what a beautiful day it is and the ladies are looking very pretty today. The woman smiles and grabs his hand.

“Sir, I want to apologize to you. Yesterday you didn’t see me in a very good light. I’m not like that normally. You see, my husband was killed in an accident a year ago. Since then I have lost my job and lost our home. We had just left the insurance company where they said my husband’s policy had been voided. I was at my wits end. You taking the time to be so kind was the nicest thing that’s happened to us in a very long time.”

He smiled at her and told her it was his pleasure. He himself knows what it’s like to have a bad day. He had just been laid off of his job of 33 years. His delivery yesterday was his last.

The world continued to spin on its axis and life went on around them. Those passing by were annoyed at the threesome taking up precious sidewalk space. Can’t they just move along? Don’t they know they are in the way?

To those of you out there reading this, I haven’t walked a mile in your shoes. I don’t know how you feel. There isn’t a way for me to understand what it going on in your head or in your heart. But know this…

You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You are amazing.

“No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances”  ~  Mark Twain

The blame game. Don’t we all do it?

It starts when we’re children – “The dog did it” “I don’t know” “It wasn’t me” “I swear I didn’t do it” 

By the time we are adults we’ve learned to hone our skills. What do we do? …. The report you were supposed to finish hasn’t even been started: the computer dumped it before you could back it up! You burn dinner because you were on Facebook and forgot to check it: the oven isn’t working right! You crash into the car in front of you because you were on the phone and not paying attention: the idiot cut in front of you and slammed on the breaks!

Uh huh… Riiiiiiiiight.

Don’t get me started on the people who enjoy clawing their way up the ladder of success by taking credit for another's accomplishments and blaming who they can for their failures. Instead of getting ahead by hard work and knowledge, they climb over the bodies of those who were foolish enough to get in their way.

Some take it a step farther…

Do you all remember many years ago when the story surfaced about the woman who went to McDonalds, ordered hot coffee, promptly spilled the coffee on herself, then turned around and sued McDonalds for millions? It was such an outrageous story at the time, and still is. Yet, because she believed she was wronged, she took the issue to court, sued, and won. Welcome to the world of litigious blame. Let the games begin!

It baffles the mind that someone has the utter gall to sue an organization because THEY were stupid enough to not use common sense. What’s worse is that juries agree. They enjoy sticking it to the companies with big dollar signs after their names. Why? It’s easier to blame someone else than admit we screwed up.

And we do.

Screw up.

Frequently.

We’re human. The idea is to admit when we do wrong, learn from it and try not to do it again. But noooooooo…..

Maybe it’s time we all take a lesson from Henry Ford who said:

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy”

Love…does it ever become tiring, mundane, boring, stagnant, or stale?

“Nestled snugly against my side, your head upon my bare chest, your arm draped across my torso; gentle snores escape your lips as I brush aside stray hairs from your breathtaking face. Our legs entwined, my strong arm holding you close, we lie upon a bed of roses, exhausted from a night of play.”

Does it ever truly cease to exist? And if these things do happen, was it honest love to begin with?

“Tracing my hand over your bare skin, my fingertips causing your body to shiver as my mind memorizes every dip and curve. Closing my eyes I lean in to tenderly kiss your forehead.”

I reached a point in my life not long after my son’s illness where I had given up on ever finding happiness. After a marriage that quickly turned ugly, despite all I attempted to do, I found myself no longer having the strength to fight that battle. It wasn’t that I had given up. Instead, I let go and stood back from the chaos. I washed my hands of it; most of my hope had vanished and my dreams became simply that: dreams.

“The sweet scent of your hair and skin consumes me, causing fresh tears to well in my eyes. For this beauty I hold close is mine, forever more. All my hopes and dreams are at last within my grasp, never to be torn from me.”

Everything I touched fell apart. All I held dear was ripped from me. I was a broken shell of a man with no concept of where I would go, or what I would do.

“As a tear falls and lands upon your cheek, you stir from your restful slumber. Your eyes seek mine out and the love I feel is reflected back at me.”

When I fully let go, when I no longer tried to fight or tried to control everything around me, I discovered things changed drastically. One fateful day, a miracle took place. I discovered something I never knew existed; someone I believed to be nothing more than a fantastic dream entered my life. Even my imagination, as fantastic as it is, could not have prepared me for what was to take place.

“Maneuvering into a better position, your lips hungrily reach for my own. Our passion and love escalates, temperatures rise, and our play time begins anew…”

Perhaps things truly do happen for a reason. Maybe all the pain and heartache we each endure throughout our respective lives is to prepare for that one perfect, special moment. Having faith in ourselves is important, especially when our whole world comes crumbling down. We never know what might be waiting in the wings for us….

 

We are sick and tired of our elected officials and their supporters digging in their heels and not thinking! He said/she said, they won’t/they can’t, I want/You need….. ARGH!

STOP IT!

Stop thinking of yourself and your legacies for one bloody minute and pull your heads out of your respective asses for a change. Learn and practice the art of compromise for pity sake before you tear this country apart and start a second civil war.

With the health care debate still in full swing and the barely passing of HB 3962 out of the House yesterday, we have been talking about what a true compromise option could be.

For a couple years now we have been inundated with the promises of bi-partisanship and doing what is best for the American people. Unfortunately we haven’t been seeing it. The divisiveness is just as strong now as it has been for years. Instead of actually sitting down TOGETHER and seeing what can be done to give their constituents the best lives possible, they instead insist upon drawing lines in the sand and DEMANDING you vote their way. Period.

Stop crying foul when someone else doesn’t follow you blindly and has ideas of their own. Stop with the playground antics of a 6 year old saying it’s my ball and if you don’t play my way I’m taking it and going home.

GROW UP!

While ruminating this morning (yes we ruminate. It’s a good word. Know it, use it, own it) we have come up with a couple of ideas that we think might just be plausible concerning healthcare. Things need to change with our health care, plain and simple. We can probably all agree on that. We have a number of citizens who, for whatever reason, cannot afford insurance nor the cost of doctor visits, right? We don’t need 1900+ pages discussing all the little nuances of how to enact a new healthcare plan. All we need is a little bit of simplicity.

Ladies, gentlemen and trolls, we give you…

XANGA BILL AC001

or

How To Give Every American Health Care

Coverage and Not Bankrupt the Country

otherwise known as…

The Little Purple Bill

First, there needs to be tort reform. Sorry people, but if the doctors can’t afford their insurance (sound familiar?) and have to cut back on services, then it won’t do any good to move forward. Suing for every thing that might happen is not the answer.

Then how about the US Government act like an employer (since they already have 1.8 million of us working for them) and get bids for insurance coverage? Different insurance companies can group together and offer a health care package that will cross state lines. The top three contenders will then get approval from our officials and become an OPTION for every citizen (sorry Nancy, you don’t win friends and influence enemies by threatening to fine someone and/or throw them in jail if the don’t take what is offered). You know the more people who join in a plan, the cheaper the cost, right? You can have the cost taken directly out of your paycheck. You will even continue to have coverage if you get laid off and qualify for unemployment. That can be paid for by an across the board charge; every one of the 138.5 million working stiffs paying $2 a week out of their paycheck just for this contingency.  That wouldn’t be something we’d miss all that much is it?

Of course this insurance would have to be basic and major medical issue coverage only. And, if additional coverage is required, there are always the private healthcare options. Say you want that tummy tuck, or the boob job you’ve been craving since seeing the wonders it did for your girlfriend’s love life, well that’s out of your pocket, sorry.

We could go on and on, but this post is long enough. You get the idea.

Healthcare reform is needed in this country. On that, we’re sure all of us can agree. The currently proposed plan however, is not the answer to our prayers. There are other ways and other options which should be sought. What we’ve provided may or may not work. But it’s a start.

Do you remember the principle of Occam’s Razor? “The simplest answer is usually the right answer.” Perhaps we should stop looking at complex solutions, and instead discover the solutions which are far simpler in nature.

What do we have to lose?

Do you ever wonder why our over the counter drugs are packaged the way they are? You have to practically blast the cap off an aspirin bottle and use gardening shears to take the protective skin off a cold medicine. Years ago some sick individuals found a way to taint the packaging and cause minimal but serious issues. Our FDA took a stand and required manufacturers to make it impossible to access the medicines without multiple layers of protection. YAY! It may be a pain in the butt to open a bottle or package now, but better safe then sorry, right? Good job FDA!

As further protection to the US public, our government does not allow our citizens to purchase prescription drugs from other countries for our protection. After all none of these drugs have been tested and approved by OUR government agencies. It doesn’t matter that these drugs have been approved for distribution by the governments of other countries. They also haven’t been approved by one of this country’s largest lobbying group: the pharmaceutical industry.

Supposedly it takes 10 years of research on a new drug before the FDA approves it for consumption. The results of the research testing along with possible side affects are recorded and submitted with the patenting request. Once checked the medication is now approved or rejected for sale. In 2004 the manufacturers of Vioxx, Celebrex and Bextra removed their drugs from the market because deaths were occurring from high dose usage. On March 11, 2009 “Scott S. Reuben, former chief of acute pain at Baystate Medical Center, Springfield, Mass., revealed that data for 21 studies he had authored for the efficacy of the drug vioxx had been fabricated in order to augment the analgesic effects of the drugs”. WTF?!? What happened to the safety of the American people? Wasn’t the approved testing of the drug done according to government standards?

How many times have you watched a commercial for a prescription drug and been shocked about the possible side affects? I know I have. Sometimes the side affects seem worse than the condition. I know I try and avoid taking medications I don’t have to. See, I have Crohns disease. My condition was treated with a few “approved” medications to try and control the progression of the disease. Unfortunately for me I was in the group of people who had side affects. On every one of the medications I took. I gave up attempting any more as I didn’t want more illnesses than the arthritis and nerve damage I already developed from the ones I had tried! With time my disease progressed and I had radical surgery to remove my colon. I still have the results of the side affects but other than an occasional flare up due to stress or food, I am in MUCH better condition than I have been for years.

The FDA is now approving a new drug for the treatment of Crohns. To say I was shocked and appalled when reviewing the side affects is an understatement! You are NOT going to believe this!

Humira: used in the treatment of Psoriatic Arthritis, Crohn's Disease and Plaque Psoriasis.

Possible side affects: Tuberculosis, upper respiratory tract infections, bronchitis and urinary tract infections, pneumonia,septic arthritis, prosthetic and post-surgical infections, erysipelas, cellulitis, diverticulitis, and bacterial infection of the kidney. More cases of malignancy have been observed. Fever, infection, pain in extremity, pelvic pain, sepsis,surgery, thorax pain, Arrhythmia, atrial fibrillation, cardiovascular disorder,chest pain, congestive heart failure, coronary artery disorder, heart arrest,hypertensive encephalopathy, myocardial infarct, palpitation, pericardialeffusion, pericarditis, syncope, tachycardia, vascular disorder, Lupus erythematosus syndrome, Cholecystitis, cholelithiasis, esophagitis, gastroenteritis, gastrointestinal disorder, gastrointestinal hemorrhage, hepatic necrosis, vomiting, Parathyroid disorder, Agranulocytosis, granulocytopenia,leukopenia, lymphoma like reaction, pancytopenia, polycythemia, dehydration, healing abnormal, ketosis, paraproteinemia, peripheral edema, Arthritis, bone disorder, bone fracture (not spontaneous), bone necrosis, joint disorder, muscle cramps, myasthenia, pyogenic arthritis, synovitis, tendon disorder, Adenoma, carcinomas such as breast, gastrointestinal, skin,urogenital, and others; lymphoma and melanoma, Confusion, multiple sclerosis, paresthesia, subduralhematoma, tremor, Asthma, bronchospasm, dyspnea, lung disorder, lung function decreased, pleural effusion, pneumonia, Cellulitis, erysipelas, herpes zoster, cataract, Thrombosis leg, Cystitis, kidney calculus, menstrual disorder, pyelonephritis.

Ummm, wow?

With all these possibilities, you can pretty well assume that you would have at least one of the above reactions. But which one? When you are already ill and in pain, the last thing you want is more problems, but what do you do?

Right now this country is going through great debate about healthcare in this country. Some feel we need the government to take charge and start their own insurance agency with public healthcare instead of reforming the private sector guidelines for insurance coverage. No matter where you stand on the debate, one thing is for sure, the pharmaceutical industry is salivating with the opportunities coming their way.

Who is running the show in Washington? Is it the FDA or the pharmaceutical companies and their lobbyists? They actually approved a drug that can cause you to die. This isn’t just a disappointment but criminal. What is it going to take for this agency to wake up and stop doing this kind of thing? How many people are going to develop permanent illnesses and possible death before someone says enough?

Instead of looking to increase government intervention in our healthcare at this point, maybe it should instead look at a massive overhaul of an agency that will be tasked to overseeing that health care agenda first. That’s right ladies and gentleman, the United States Department of Health and Human Services who oversees the FDA, the same agency that allows a drug to be distributed that can cause your death, is going to be in charge of our possible national health care agenda. I don’t know about you, but that scares the c#^% out of me!

Those “unapproved” drugs from other countries aren’t looking so scary to me now.

Vioxx anyone?

I stood in the middle of the room not moving.

Staring.

At nothing.

Bed frame in pieces on the floor.

Just like my heart.

Just like my mind.

It would be easy to pull the trigger. Bang! All done. No more pain.

Curling up on the floor like a baby in the womb, I want it all to end. I can’t get numb enough to forget.

You’re dead. Wish I was. Nothing left.

You aren’t there to laugh with me as I fumble and stumble my way through the hallway with the bed. I can’t hear your sighs when I swear in frustration. I don’t feel your body lying next to me in slumber.

I stop living.

I barely exist.

It’s been almost 6 years since you left me. Those first few months were a blur, like looking in a bathroom mirror fogged with steam.

I wanted to die. Some days I still do. When you left, my reason for living left too. You were the best of me and now you didn’t exist.

I lost count how many times I wanted to pull that trigger, swallow those pills. I loved you for loving me, I hated you for leaving.

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?

I eventually put that bed together. I eventually left the flat. I eventually stopped drinking myself to oblivion. I eventually started working again. I eventually learned to breathe.

Living without you hasn’t been easy. Too many days I want to give up. But I hear your voice inside me, pulling me along, nudging me to go on.

Thank you for the 5 ½ years you gave me.

For the laughter.

For the tears.

For loving me.

Thank you for making sure I didn’t pull that trigger.

If I had, I never would have met Tom. I wouldn’t have seen the sunrise over the Med, the sun set on the Alps. I wouldn’t have heard the laughter of kids at play and the sound of the wind in the trees. I would have missed out on the times we had always talked about.  And that would be the real crime.